lejacoach

Stress is not a state that is reserved purely for adults, but a state that is felt more and more often by children too. Stress results in many children being absent from school during the last months of class before the holidays, because they don't feel well. Headaches, stomach-aches, psychological conditions such as anxiety, depression and other forms of distress are all common signals that children are under too much pressure. Stress that is the result of school environments affect even the youngest children, although teenagers suffer the most from stress-related illnesses. Can the main cause of these occurrences be found in the school system, or maybe in the teachers? How should the educational process develop and proceed throughout the year to avoid or at least reduce stress?

During this festive time, there is one common phrase that I hear at every turn – while walking though shopping centres, picking my son up from school, chatting with my friends whose children are in kindergarten, I hear mothers, fathers, grandparents, teachers and every other significant adult threatening their misbehaving children, children who can’t control their excitement, and therefore their actions and emotions, because of the festive spirit. This most commonly and excessively used disciplinary phrase during December every year is: ‘’If you don’t behave, Father Christmas (or Santa or any other present-bringing character) won’t bring you any presents.’’

How do we prepare for the arrival of an additional member of the family – a baby? A little human being that constantly requires all our attention during the first few years of its life. Children are tiny little beings that are open and completely vulnerable. We have to be very careful with their little brains, because they are still developing. But instead, we start filling their brains from the very beginning with all our ideas about how best to survive on this planet.

The majority of individuals who became parents during the 1970’s and 1980’s belong to a generation who was brought up with the concept of the so called ‘’apostolic authority”. The parents acted as ‘’apostles” who dictated the rules, norms and guidelines for their children’s behaviour. Despite the fact that they did not abide by these rules themselves. This type of upbringing was therefore called ‘’the apostolic parenting style”. A child brought up in this style doesn’t internalise moral values, but only acts upon them when the parent in present. The child knows that if he doesn’t comply, he will be punished. This parenting style is full of labels such as: rude, clumsy, careless, diligent, naughty, lazy, mischievous etc., that influence the child’s life in a negative way (more about this topic in ‘Children Become Their Labels’).

Curiosity is one of the key factors when it comes to discipline in the classroom (and also at home), says psychotherapist Tina Bryson. She helped initiate the American movement that educates parents and teachers about the important connections between the stages of brain development and learning. Good results, cooperation and peace are guaranteed when a responsible adult is able to spark interest in a child.

The famous American psychiatrist Leon Eisenberg, who is known as the ‘father’ of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,) contacted the German newspaper Der Spiegel seven months before he died. He admitted to them that they had underestimated the genetic causes of ADHD, which had, until then, rejected parental responsibility, while the use of prescription drugs had been encouraged.

‘’Silence is a dangerous poison for children!’’ says psychiatrist, psychotherapist and communications expert Dr. Željko Čurić, who is known in Slovenia and in the world because of his public speeches about recognizing suicidal tendencies.